"It's a Clanger!"

"Having seen the extent of the problem, the chair of the District Council gives approval for the demolition of all buildings unable to contain the new 2006 standard Christmas tree^.

Tree arrives for the Gay and Lesbian Society

"A metre's about 3 feet isn't it?"

The first victim of the Xmas 'Brewers Droop'.

"That looks like the traditional Concorde Conifer (Concordicus Finlandia)"

"Put a Viagra tablet in the watering can when you water it please."

"Yes mother, the end's all bent and the balls are about to fall off.
We're having a few problems with the Christmas tree too."

Triffid: "I might feel stupid with these bangles on, but just wait till Christmas morning!!

That f#@!~?g fairy's been eating too much Christmas Pudding!

"Vertical is a state of mind."

"Well, the tree is a German idea anyway."

At an energy-conscious Wimbledon old folks home, a confused Great Uncle Bulgaria prepares to join the "going green" celebration party...

"Brian, dear, there are rumours going around that we have a fallen angel in the house and young Debs is being teased at school. Would you sort the tree out, please."

The tree fit perfectly! Nobody said anything about a box!

"That thing just popped out of the box! Now look, the top didn't unfold."



Page Updated on 29th November 2006